Prologue

Karen and I had planned to go to Costa Rica this trip. She had booked off Saturday to Saturday. Unfortunately, we found that the best flights to Costa Rica departed Monday to Monday at a savings of $600.00 each. We decided to pass for now and go another time. So now, 5 days before we were ready to leave, we had to find a new destination. We checked out SellOffVacations.com and chose the 4.5 star, all inclusive Sun Village Resort on Cofresi Beach near Puerto Plata in the Dominican Republic for a grand total of $771.00 CDN each for one week. This included all meals, drinks, hotel for 7 days and return flight and taxes. It turned out to be a more than excellent choice.

Friday December 2, 2005

After work, I picked Karen up and drove us to Toronto. She slept on the way up to keep me company. I had to keep turning her head as she was fogging up my windshield. We passed through three separate snowstorms lasting about a mile of roadway each. Checked in to the Toronto Airport Suites Hotel, which I also booked through Selloffvacations.com for a grand total of $102.00. This included parking for two weeks (if needed) and a free 24 hour shuttle to and from the airport. It was a very nice room with a king-sized bed and a separate room with a couch, satellite tv and dining room. Karen broke out a bottle of wine to celebrate and we were asleep by midnight.

Saturday December 3, 2005

My travel alarm and the hotel wake-up service awoke us at 3:00 a.m. Ahh…what a restful night. The shuttle took us to the airport for our 6:30 flight. The Signature Vacations booth had our tickets waiting for us and the only problem encountered was my carry-on bag being 5 lbs overweight. I removed all my chocolates and distributed them to Karen's carry on bag and we were set.

After an uneventful flight on SkyService, we set down at Puerto Plata at 11:30 am. As per last year, I couldn't help noticing that Karen's luggage arrived completely intact looking as new as the day she bought it. My brand new suitcase, however, had been handled by Jack the Ripper again and now had a 7" long tear in the back.

Included was a free bus to our resort but our plan was to grab a taxi, beat the crowd there and snag the best room. The taxis wanted to charge us $40.00 U.S. for this privilege. We dragged ourselves onto the bus with the rest of the vacationers. But again, we did have a plan that worked well. We made sure we got on last. Last on, first off. When we arrived at our resort, I left Karen to play with the baggage while I sprinted into the lobby. I was first off and first at the counter to ask for the best room in the house. I couldn't help noticing that everything was in Karen's name.

"Thank you, Mr. Matthews", said the clerk handing me the card key.

We got an excellent room and there was no waiting as it was ready immediately. A miniature golf cart type bus took us and our luggage down some little pathways to room #20723. This was probably our only complaint. The room number was much too long for either of us to remember. Of course, you needed to know the number for any bookings we did. The resort was excellent. It is built on the side of a mountain and is composed of many terraced levels. I imagine some people would be upset with all the stairs and climbing, but for Karen and I, it was perfect! We enjoyed the climbing and exercise. There are about 11 different pools and very few people. Our patio door lock was broken so I mentioned this at the lobby and they said they would send someone. They did while we were gone and fixed one end but not the other. I McGivered it and the problem was solved.

As per most all inclusive resorts, we were each fitted with a white, plastic, hotel arm band. I don't know if I mentioned this but Karen has Princess skin. If you look at her wrong, she bruises. If you touch her skin the wrong way, it hurts. It seemed every time I turned around, the plastic armband either scratched or cut her.

We quickly unpacked then ran up to one of the many little bars and asked the bartender to surprise us with a typical Dominican drink. He gave us a "Tropical Nine". It was very good. So good, that we had to stay a little longer and try a Bahama Mama which was also quite tasty. Eventually we staggered down to the beach and tanned for a while. Then we went for a beach walk and took a few photos. Karen checked out all the little vendors beach huts so we would get a good price comparison for the future. Dominican's seem to be obsessed with sex. The other tourists were laughing saying that the statues all had gigantic male organs. I thought the proportions were about right?

We went for a swim in the Dolphin Pool, which is just below our balcony. Bill and Angie from B.C. had already been there for a week and filled us in on all kinds of helpful tips…like the best drinks to order, their favourite a la carte restaurants, and best shopping stores. We returned to our great room with the Canadian Ken Danby prints, and had a three hour siesta. Later we put in an appearance at the buffet restaurant for supper. It was excellent. They had everything from soup to goat, crab and pork….and tonight was lobster night. We definitely had our share. There was a large aquarium built into the wall with several eels and tropical fish. Once we were stuffed we went to the stage area and watched the nightly entertainment. The dancers were quite impressive compared to the other resorts I've been to. Eventually we retired to our room. We could hear Bob Marley's "Jammin" drifting up from the bar outside. Karen sang along just before nodding off to sleep.

"Pyjamas

Won't wear pyjamas with you

Pyjamas, pyjamas

And I hope you won't wear them too

Pyjamas

Don't put that material on me

Pyjamas, pyjamas,

I just wanna be free

Pyjamas, pyjamas, pyjamas, pyjamas…"

"I don't think those are the actual words…" I said, but she was already asleep.

Sunday December 4, 2005

Got up around 7:30. Karen showed me the large multicoloured bruise she had on her shoulder. Apparently while visiting her horse, Gidget's stablemate had reached over and given Karen a loving little nip. Karen is much like my sister Wendy. She bruises easily and everything seems to happen to her.

We ran up the many terraced steps to the buffet restaurant for breakfast. When we were done we had our orientation with Patrick - our Signature Vacations representative. He was expecting 18 people but we were the only ones that showed up. Half way through the presentation, another couple joined us. Patrick was very nice and did a reasonable job but we both felt it was lacking in detail and was not very informative on the tours. He had not been on many (if any) of them himself so could not comment.

Karen decided she liked a nice bracelet with both larimar and amber, which are native to the Dominican Republic. The vendor gave us the usual spiel about how we would be his first sale of the day and that because we were Canadian, he would give us a good deal - "cheapie, cheapie and almost free". He assumed I was going to buy Karen's bracelet and kept asking me, "What do you think…Moneyman?"

That was enough work so we decided to hit the beach. They have double beds lined up along the shore with 6" thick padding and wedge-like pillows - very, very comfortable. We read and tanned and drank pina coladas then we tried the beachfront hot tub. It was the perfect temperature and made those pina coladas taste even better. Eventually, Karen thought it might be fun to take out a couple of kayaks. We had to leave a refundable $10.00 deposit for each one. I was thinking we could probably sell them down the beach for $80 and not worry about losing our deposits.

"I will need your room number as well," said the clerk.

"It's 27023", I said.

"No it's not!" said Karen. "It's 23027!"

"No way!" I'll buy you a pina colada if I'm wrong.

The clerk looked it up under "Matthews" on the computer saying, "It's 20723".

"Ha, ha!" said Karen. "You owe me a drink".

"Hey…you were wrong too!", I said.

"I was not!" she replied.

"Was too!!", I yelled.

"Excuse me…Did you still want these kayaks?" asked the clerk.

The kayaks were the sit on top type. We paddled out to the reef where the large breakers were. It was hard trying to catch a good surfing wave. Karen managed to, almost right away. It rolled her right over. Both her and her kayak disappeared. Once I found her again, I was able to tow her to the kayak. I was thankful that she was easily able to get back in, as I didn't really relish the thought of having to burn down the resort to attract the attention of the local coast guard. Karen had a large purple bruise on her shin where the paddle struck her. We surfed a bit more then returned our crafts. I suggested going for a dip in the ocean. We swam around. I did some body surfing.

"You should try it", I said gleefully to Karen.

"Show me how", she replied dubiously.

I enrolled her in Body Surfing 101 and soon she was ready for her first wave. Karen expertly plunged in just ahead of a large breaker. She rode it into shore where it promptly turned her sideways and rolled her part way up the beach and then back down. Waves number two and three took over and pummelled her a few dozen times. When she came up for air, some of the skin was missing off her right leg and some other areas that I promised not to mention. Most of her red manicured toenail paint had been sanded off.

"I don't think I particularly like body surfing all that much," said Karen as she dragged herself out of the sea and limped up to our beach bed. Later we went back to our room. I was in charge of the card key today.

"Where's the key", said Karen standing outside the room as I fumbled around in my pockets.

"I believe I left it on the bed inside", I said as Karen began rolling her eyes.

We went next door to the bar and they drove us to the lobby for another key. Karen had recently purchased a mask and snorkel for this trip. We took it down to our pool and tested it out as we planned to take a snorkelling excursion in a couple of days. Mostly we practised dog paddling over to the swim-up bar. We headed back to the room for a shower before supper.

"You might want to close the curtains", I said to Karen as she undressed for her shower.

"Of course I did" she replied while turning around to find they had blown completely open. That made my whole day.

"What's that big scab on your knuckle?" I asked.

"That's from your body surfing lesson," she replied.

Earlier we had made a reservation at one of the included A La Carte restaurants - the Lemon Grass. It was an excellent three-course meal served by very attentive waiters. From there we went to the nightly entertainment show again. Tonight was karaoke night. Karen isn't one for being the center of attention. I think she was ascared to sing so we made ourselves invisible and were entertained by the other guests. It didn't take us long to get to sleep once we returned to our lair.

Monday December 5, 2005 - The Day Karen Died

I woke up the Queen of Sandburns and had a quick shower. As I stepped into the room, Karen whipped open the curtains to show me the sunrise. I had completely forgotten about revenge. Oh well, the other guests probably won't recognize us with our clothes on, anyway. We toddled off for breakfast around 8:00. We spotted body-builder Luis and signed up for snorkelling at Paradise Island ($79.00 U.S.). I talked Luis into arm wrestling me for the cost of the tour. When it was over, I owed $79.00. I should have let Karen stand in for me. She could have taken him. Oh well, what does it matter…after all, I'm Mr. Matthews, the moneyman.

Karen wanted to check out the topmost pool as it had a shallow section with beach chairs right in the water. We laid out and tanned and drank pina coladas and read. There were very few people there. Suddenly two very topless women pulled up chairs right beside me. I was extremely annoyed that they would invade my space like that…extremely annoyed! I pouted the rest of the day. To make up for it, they got us some drinks. One was from Montreal and the other was a travel agent from Newfoundland.

As if we weren't waterlogged enough, we had a shower then went for lunch. Ten minutes later we were in the lobby waiting for the truck to take us on our $30.00 U.S. two hour horseback tour.

"I have a headache," said Karen sitting by the curve.

"Hey…look at that butterfly," I replied sympathetically.

The ½ ton truck pulled up and we climbed into the back. Karen said her headache was worse and now she could feel a tingly sensation starting from the top of her head and moving rapidly downward. I helped her off the truck and we told the driver we were going to cancel for today. One of the bellhops and I each took an arm and dragged Karen around the corner to the doctors office. Dr. Amore who appeared to be about 12 years old but was very nice (and according to Karen - very good looking), took her history. He elected to give her an allergy shot in the waiting room as Karen said she thought it might be an allergic reaction to something she ate. She thought it could have been the Asian rice or possibly some pork or a piece of bread. Karen appeared a little nervous so I tried to engage her in conversation about this and that. She seemed to be doing well. I turned to adjust my camera strap. When I turned back, Karen flopped around, rolled her eyes into the back of her head, went rigid and then she died. As far as I could tell, she wasn't breathing. I held her from falling to the floor and screamed at the doctor to come quick. He came around the corner, took one look and said, "Don't worry…she's fine".

"She's not fine", I screamed as I held up her head. "Get a real doctor in here!"

Meanwhile, Karen began to come around a little.

Her eyes were still closed when Dr. Amore said, "Stand up Karen, and come with me".

Karen seemed a trifle confused as she replied, "Whaaa…Where am I? I can stand up right now".

We carried her into the interior office and helped her onto a small cot. While Karen did her part…lying down and looking confused, I discussed with Dr. Amore my thoughts of taking her to the hospital. He didn't think it was necessary. Karen's input was to sit up and spew her lunch all over his office. I helped her into the bathroom and she did her best "Old Faithful" imitation. I led her back to her bed. She seemed to be feeling a little better. Dr. Amore suggested we go back to our room.

"I'd prefer Karen stays here for at least another half hour in case anything happens", I said. We tried that. While waiting, I mopped up the floor then Dr. Amore insisted on driving us to our room, which was very nice of him. He drove us as close as he could then helped me walk her down two flights of stairs and then up two flights to our room. I got Karen into bed and watched her sleep on and off until 9:00. At one point I called and cancelled our Canyoning tour for tomorrow. Karen was annoyed, her white face peering up from under the sheet weakly coughing, "Don't cancel…I'll be fine."

"I'm not going to drag your corpse up a mountain tomorrow. We'll just relax for the day and go another time", I said.

Later, she seemed a little better then so I ran up to the restaurant and was able to talk the waiter into getting me a couple of paper plates, knives and forks. I picked out a variety of foods I thought her stomach might be able to handle and raced back to our room. She frowned at the Asian rice and Pork (just kidding) but was able to eat some bread and other goodies….she seemed to think the chocolates I brought from home were safer. I watched her sleep sporadically until midnight then we both went to sleep.

Tuesday December 6, 2005

I woke to the sound of Karen whimpering, "Mommie…there's a bug on the wall".

"Oh Karen…don't be such a scaredy cat - it's just a harmless little moth."

Suddenly it launched itself off the wall with it's gigantic wings and made a beeline right towards my head.

"You scream just like a little girl", said Karen.

"I do not", I said lowering my voice a few dozen octaves. "Besides, that thing had fangs almost an inch long and horns the size of an elk. It was right after me".

I started to get dressed. Karen threw back the curtains.

"Geez…you really do scream just like a little girl," she chortled as I tried frantically to cover up.

"Apparently you're back to normal now", I replied grumpily. "I think I liked you better on your deathbed".

As per her daily ritual since arriving, Karen walked around the room smashing her toe again on the corner of the bed. When she was done cursing, we went to the buffet restaurant for breakfast. Karen bravely took a chance and had some toast. She seemed very wary of the food now. I suggested we relax down by the beach on our double beds which we did with our books. Karen seemed to recover quite quickly and soon we were swimming in the ocean again. Actually, Karen was feeling so well she insisted on continuing our horse ride today. I was able to rebook it for 3:00 with no problem at no charge. Everyone affiliated with the resort was excellent and friendly. I have been at other resorts where you lose your tour money if you cancel. This was not the case here. They were very accommodating. The truck picked us up and drove us to the stables. We picked a good day as we were the only people going. The owner came along to train a horse and our guide Miguel kept snickering at me and saying, "ha, ha…John Wayne". I didn't get it, as I hardly look anything like John Wayne at all.

It was a very good ride. My horse, Glue Stick, kept creeping too close to Karen's horse…until it gave mine a good kick. We were on the side of a mountain at the time and Old Glue Stick reared up and the two of us did some interesting ballet moves. A little difficult as I was riding with one hand as I had my other one clutching my camera for pictures the whole time. Karen looked good in the saddle, as she's been riding her whole life. We spent about 2 hours on mountain trails and roads galloping, trotting and walking. Stopped at a small farm for three beers (one for Miguel). It cost us $5.00 U.S. because they had no change. John Wayne would never have gone along with that. Once we'd finished horsing around, they returned us to our hotel. An excellent tour.

We were just in time for supper.

"Hmm! This goat wrapped in octopus is delicious," I said chewing happily as Karen nibbled on her bread and yogurt. I felt guilty…but it didn't stop me from going back for more - four times.

Once again we went to the entertainment stage. The dancers dragged both of us up on stage despite Karen's protests of, "I can't…I don't feel well - I just died yesterday!" After a few hours of dancing we returned to our room and I tucked my recovering from death, bruised, sand-burned Princess into bed. She's like a walking disaster.

Wednesday December 7, 2005

Got up at 5:45 for our 6:45 am snorkelling tour. We had just enough time for breakfast. As Karen sipped on her coffee, I noticed a bird squeeze between the window mesh and land on the chair behind her.

"Hey, look at that!" I said pointing to the bird while my hotel bracelet accidently flicked her knuckle scab into her goatmeal"

"Ow, ow, ow!!" she yelled. "It's never going to heal if you keep doing that!"

We waited in the lobby for our snorkelling tour then driven for 40 minutes to the small town of Isabela. Apparently this is where Chris Columbus first landed. About 8 of us piled into a speedboat and were whisked away to Paradise Island. It was cold, rainy and the waves were quite high so it made for a painful ride (especially after 2 hours in the saddle).

Paradise Island turned out to be a spit of sand with no trees whatsoever (much different than the palm-treed brochure). We huddled in a thatched palm shelter drinking rum and eating stale cheesebuns. No one wanted to go in the water because it was so cold but eventually we all figured it was warmer in the water. Snorkelling equipment was provided although Karen and I brought our own. We had a good time examining all the little fish. I followed Karen around. At one point I saw her spot a long barracuda type fish with jagged teeth that was hanging vertically in the water. She was fine until it looked at her then I heard a muffled "Mommie!" bubbling up through her snorkel, and Karen was flippering away faster than Jacques Cousteau spotting a gold dubloon.

Our guide gathered us together and told us the island was surrounded by a reef. He led us all out a passageway and soon we were in 50-60 feet of deep water. It was pretty good but unfortunately it was fairly wavy and clarity wasn't as good as it could be. After about 40 minutes of swimming we headed back in. Karen and I were last. Of course no one noticed as safety is not a big concern down here. She was trying to tell me something with her snorkel in her mouth. I deciphered it as, "Have you seen grampa?" Eventually I figured out that she had a cramp. I didn't think it was too serious - after all I could swim fine. It really slowed her down. By the time Karen got in, I had already eaten 6 cheesebuns and warmed up with 2 rum and cokes.

The second part of our tour was to view the mangrove swamps along the coast. The boats were fast enough that the rain pelting down on us felt like sleet hitting our faces.

"It's like pins sticking into me!" yelled Karen.

We were dropped at a different beach at Punta Rusia where we were given a free buffet meal. Karen and I toured the "Casa Colon". It was not a bathroom as you would expect, but a small museum. Later Karen haggled with the vendors on the beach while sand fleas attacked her. Karen bought a few trinkets that were "almost free." The poor woman had 18 starving children at home but we got a deal for being Canadian and her first customer of the day.

Apparently, while we were snorkelling, the rain took out the road so we had to take a 2 1/2 hour detour through the mountains. It was interesting for the first half hour but then a little boring. Did I mention Karen gets car sick?

We weren't able to make reservations for the a la carte restaurant this morning as they don't open till 9:00. We took a chance and just showed up at the Citrus Restaurant

"No problem, Mr. Matthews. Welcome!", said the friendly waiter.

"Stick with the Moneyman, baby, and this is the life you'll lead," I whispered to Karen.

This was by far, our favourite meal. The whole setting was excellent and the 3 course meal was perfect. As entrepreneurs, we both latched onto an idea that we plan to exploit once we return to Canada. Our secrecy pact forbids me from speaking of it, however.

From there, we tried to watch the nightly entertainment. However, it turned out that tonight…we were the entertainment. Karen and I were forced to go up on stage along with two other couples. This was going to be a couples competition. The six of us sat along side each other while our torturers explained the competition rules.

Couple #1 was up. Thomas had to stand on a chair while his wife rolled a ping pong ball up one leg of his shorts, across and down the other leg - twice. We were timed. Karen and I had the worst time as we had come from the a la carte restaurant where I had to wear long pants.

"That's not the ping pong ball", I instructed at one point.

Competition #2 involved balloons. We all had a shot at it. When it was our turn, Karen had to hold a balloon on her stomach. I had to come running and give her a big bear hug until it popped. Several stage members joined me and helped with the hugging. Then Karen had to sit on a chair with the balloon in her lap. I had to leap on her - meanwhile the stage crew leapt on my back to help. Karen was squashed into the chair.

Competition #3 was the best. I had to do as many push-ups as possible while Karen laid on my back. I thought I was in my element but I'd forgotten about how I'd hurt my back last month picking up shingles. I gave up at 4. I can't remember what the other couple got. Thomas was last so he'd seen the drill and how to do it. He positioned himself but just before his wife laid on his back, she was replaced by one of the stage hands when he wasn't looking. Thomas did 10 while the much heavier Dominican entertainer yawned and did all kinds of poses to the laughter of the audience. It was hilarious once Thomas spotted his wife sitting in her chair.

At the end, we all had to go to the front and take a bow while the audience clapped for each couple. Despite having lost all the competitions, we got the loudest applause. The stage hands did not think that was right so they asked the audience to vote again. This time we lost, although they gave us a bottle of Dominican rum for our efforts.

Angie & Bill were in the audience with Brad from England. The five of us went to the Malibu bar for a while and then the disco. Angie had also been to see Dr. Amore. Her and Karen spent the whole evening talking about him and plotting ways to get sick so they could be seen again. Eventually we headed back to our room.

"I really have to go to the bathroom", said Karen hopping around outside the door as I searched for the key.

"I think I may have left it in the room", I responded.

That was when "The Look" began to form on Karen's face. I was scared.

"I'll just run up to the lobby and get another one", I said fearfully. Karen's face silently transformed into the full "Look". I quickly looked away, but part of the image had already burnt into my right eye. I didn't just run, but raced up the side of the mountain, leaping the stairs 3 at a time. I hurriedly explained my predicament to the manager. He gave me another card key saying, "No problem, Mr. Matthews." I raced back in record time tossing the card Frisbee-style to Karen as soon as she came into view. Over the next hour, "The Look" slowly dissipated.

"From now on, I'm in charge of the keys," said Karen.

Thursday December 8, 2005

I had second shower this morning. As I came out of the bathroom I was careful to check that the curtains were closed and Karen was nowhere near them. I only fall for the same thing so many times. Suddenly the outside door behind me was thrust open and there was Karen coming in with two fresh bottles of water.

"You still scream like a little girl," she said as the maid walked by behind her.

After breakfast we met Orlando and driver Jose from Iguana Mama Tours for our $66 U.S. canyoning/cascading trek to see the 27 waterfalls of Damajagua. It was probably less than half an hour from the resort. Once there, Orlando hired us a guide - Victorio. We were geared up with a life vest and helmet. Karen elected to leave her digital camera behind. I took it's twin and placed it in my semi-waterproof kayak bag. We didn't really know what to expect. Karen seemed a little anxious as we followed Victorio carrying a leg brace and back board. We waded across several streams about ankle to knee deep and headed up a mountain trail. We criss-crossed the same stream several dozen times until we came to a waterfall. We had to swim upriver to it. I was swimming with one hand as the other one was keeping my camera high above my head. We climbed the first waterfall then waded up the river until we were enclosed in canyon walls. At this point, Victorio went on ahead telling us not to come until he blew his whistle. When he did we swam upriver, around the bend between the canyon walls until we came to another waterfall. Victorio was on top with a rope. He lowered it down to Karen telling her to put her foot in the loop. Karen was treading water and the loop was 3 feet above her head dangling inside the waterfall. To say this was a difficult manoeuvre would be under exaggerating. It was near impossible. Victorio finally retrieved the rope and lowered the loop an extra foot. Once her leg was in the loop she had to leap upwards and grab Victorio's hand for a lift up. It was very difficult but after several dozen tries, Karen eventually got up bruising almost every inch of her body. Now it was my turn. I had even more trouble than Karen. The waterfall would beat my leg down into submission whenever I tried to raise it into the loop. Also, surprisingly I was slightly heavier than Karen so Victorio wasn't able to toss me upwards the same way. Eventually I made it up but it was exhausting work.

We did 8 more of these waterfalls. At one point we had to climb up the canyon walls using a rope. They were smooth, wet and slippery. It was all we could do not to slide off with our running shoes. I noticed that Victorio wore bare feet. Victorio said that few people made it as far as the 7. I wanted to go on but Karen decided she would hang back. What a wimp - just because she died the other day and hadn't fully recovered yet. Victorio led me up to the 11th waterfall. At that point I thought I should return to where we left Karen. She had been pacing back and forth and scratching our names on the canyon walls using a sharp rock. On the way back down we had to slide down the waterfalls. Victorio told us to position ourselves just so in certain spots. It was almost impossible to get to this perfect position so you ended up jumping in and hoping for the best. At some areas we had to jump from the top of the waterfall into the pools below. Even I got bruised a few times. Victorio told me he was hired for $600 Dominican Pesos. We gave Victorio a $5.00 tip and he disappeared.

Back at the truck, Orlando and Jose took us to a small village (Imberto) where we had a buffet lunch in a little restaurant. They had a tame crow (Gregorio) in a cage that Karen fed "my" avocado to. They dropped us at our hotel. We had an excellent time, however we found out later, we could have taken a bus there and hired a guide ourselves for probably less than $5.00 U.S. total. That's what you get for being a stupid tourist.

Back at our hotel, we hit the beach again tanning and reading. We swam in our pool for a while then were invited to take part in the darts competition. We lost. Karen challenged me to two games of pool. I think I won. Then I spotted the foozball game. It's always been my dream to play and I never have. We played two games. I never even got one score. Karen wiped the smile off my face simultaneously destroying a young man's dream. She whipped the pants off me and the curtains were even closed at the time.

We were invited to the Manager's Cocktail for a spiel regarding investing in the hotel. We had finger food and pina coladas in coconuts and pineapples with little umbrellas. England Brad joined us. We ate at the buffet restaurant again and then went to the entertainment centre again. I got recalled to the stage for a while then we returned to our room. I couldn't help noticing that Karen now had bruises on her bruises.

"Let's get up early tomorrow and photograph the sunset", I suggested.

"If you can do that, all the power to you", replied Karen rolling her eyes.

Friday December 9, 2005

Woke up around 7:00. By 8:00 we were at the buffet restaurant making our toast in the toast machine, drinking coffee and eating a fresh omelette that the chef made from fixings we picked out…that and a lot of fresh fruit and also a smoothie made by another chef.

We ran into England Brad so he joined us on a shopping spree down by Ocean World. We got some good prices there. Later we went back to the beach for our usual tan, drink and swim. Karen bartered for a wooden horse. It started at $300 U.S. and she got it down to $60.00. The vendor was exasperated and asked, "What will you pay". Karen said, "$55.00. He said that would be fine if he could get his manager to agree to it. The manager came in, took one look and said "$300.00". We left. Ten minutes later, a shady character approached us and said he could get us a horse for $55 at the market if we gave him $5.00 to hold it. I suggested cutting the bill in half but Karen already gave it to him. He said he would meet us on the beach at 6:00 as he didn't want his boss to know. We never saw him again.

We ate at the Sonora Mexican restaurant tonight. It wasn't too bad but not up to the par of the other two a la carte restaurants. From there we did the entertainment show again and then the disco and finally back to our room to pack.

Saturday December 10, 2005

We got up at 5:30. Ha, ha…no one was up this early when Karen whipped back the curtains on me. We went down to the beach for some sunrise pictures and got quite a few. Checkout was at 7:30 so we did that and had a quick breakfast. Our airport bus left at 8:45 so at 8:15 I told Karen I'd make a last ditch attempt to get either her wooden horse or her $5.00 back. I ran down to the beach and waited for the vendors huts to open. I spoke to one vendor and he told me that the guy I wanted should be there in a few minutes. Finally, I realized I couldn't wait anymore. I told him if he wanted to sell me a horse that he could meet us in the lobby. I took what I thought was a short cut and ran up the mountain. I ended up nowhere near where I thought the lobby was so I almost missed the bus. Meanwhile, the concierge had been trying to find my lost black bathing suit (it turned out I left it at home). The vendor showed up in the lobby telling us that the other guy (Mario) hadn't come in yet but he would sell us a horse for $100.00. I told him that I had a picture of Mario and would send it to the hotel manager with a warning for other guests. He wasn't too pleased. With all these things going on it was quite confusing but we finally left our great resort and headed to the airport at Puerto Plata.

We stood in lines all day waiting for our 12:15 flight. Around 11:00 they told us it would be delayed 3 hours due to a flat tire. Skyservice gave us each a $10.00 voucher for lunch. Beer and chicken sandwiches for us. Around 3:30 they finally admitted that we weren't going anywhere as they had to wait for a spare tire from New Jersey. Very strange. I'm sure I could have patched it with my bicycle repair kit. We also heard that the pilots knew we weren't going anywhere and had all gone home at noon. Eventually we were all bussed to La Gran Ventana resort in Puerto Plata and given a room. Skyservice allowed us one free phone call home less than 3 minutes in length. Karen and I each placed a call letting the back-homers know we were going to be delayed a day. This was definitely a much inferior resort. They had no bottled water and the pool was completely packed with people even before our surprise group arrived.

We decided to make the best of it. I started to slip into my bathing suit…yes…she got me again! New curtains and a whole new crowd. We walked to our new beach which was quite windy and wavy but we managed to find a couple of beach chairs to lie in and read. Roberto, the local vendor came over to try and talk Karen into buying some trinkets. She wasn't interested but pointed out that my sister, Wendy might like the Dominican lava elephant that he had. I asked how much and was told $35.00 U.S. I went back to my book. Long story, but eventually I wore him down with my indifference and he finally said he would throw in all three elephants for $15.00. I told him if he threw in a lava iguana, then he had a deal. Even Roberto was laughing at my haggling style.

We left the beach and wandered all over shopping and taking pictures. We made a reservation for later at the Octopus restaurant which turned out to be very good. Around 11:00 we retired for the evening.

Sunday December 11, 2005

After an hour and a half of sleep we got up at 12:30 a.m. to catch our bus back to the airport. When checking out, we were told that we had only been allowed one phone call and they were going to charge us an extra $30.00 U.S. for the other call. The clerk could see by the look on my face, not to push it. He quickly waived the charges. Back at the airport we resumed our spots in the line-up. Karen said she felt like she had the starring role in the movie, "Ground Hog Day".

Our plane finally left at 3:30 amid a round of applause. Another uneventful flight and then we touched down in Toronto at 7:30 am. The Skyservice representative gave us each a form to fax in for a $75.00 coupon towards our next flight. Caught our shuttle back to my car and proceeded to drive back to Kingston. I found that Karen gets a little hyper when she's tired.

"I can't see out my window", said Karen.

"You don't need to see…I'm driving", I replied.

"Nonetheless - I need to see." She said.

"…Oh and the left side of my face is cold", she continued

I adjusted the heat and vent for her and turned on the wipers.

"Now my feet are getting cold."

"Hold on", I said turning up the blower while trying to navigate through traffic. "How's that?"

"Turn it down a bit, it's too loud", she said grudgingly, "It bothers my ears".

"Maybe you should have a snooze", I suggested.

"No…I'm afraid you'll fall asleep driving. I'm going to keep you company all the way home," she said thoughtfully.

"Oh joy…oh bliss," I thought.

"My seatbelt is too tight on my stomach bruise and I don't like that music station," she answered.

"Look, here's a gift for you…the whole instrument panel is yours to play with," I gestured.

There was a blur of hands running over the dials of my car. A quick adjustment here, a fine tune there. My wipers went on and off as if they had a mind of their own. The radio station changed so quickly I never heard the beginning of any songs. Heat was blasting at me one second and the air conditioning the next. This went on for 20 minutes until she wore herself out and fell asleep. Finally, I could get some sleep myself.

Summary

All I can say is that we had the perfect vacation. Perfect resort, perfect staff, perfect location, perfect weather and best of all, much as I hate to admit it because this will go straight to her head…the perfect companion.

Combined Photos by Karen & Dave

(Click on a link to view them and use your browser's "BACK" button to return to this site)

Horseback Riding Photos

Snorkeling at Paradise Island Photos

Canyoning/Cascading Photos

David's Photographic Version of the Trip

Karen's Photographic Version of the Trip

The Trip Home Including Our Plane Delay and New Resort

A site detailing a death that occurred the year before in the canyoning area