Dominican Republic, Punta Cana 2003

How did this come about, you ask? Well, a group of us had been meeting every so often for dinner and a movie. It was suggested that perhaps we could get a good discount on a vacation together. The idea took off. We formed a core group of four, each of whom chose a destination. At the next meeting we each gave a little seminar on the country of our choice and then the voting began. The Bavaro Beach Resort in the Dominican Republic won out. From there we went out and did pricing checks with various travel agents. Lastly we reported back with our findings and Algonquin Travel in Kingston won by a landslide. Our original idea was to get 21 people, which would give us one free ticket to raffle off amongst us. Unfortunately, not everyone in our movie group was able to go and the final number became an even ten. This included myself, Linda Tucker, Wendy Workman, Don Murphy, Pat Player, Frank Player, Brian Vintner, Paul Nixon, Lucy Clark and Malcolm Podhy. We dubbed ourselves ?The Griswold?s? from the movie series ?National Lampoon?s Vacation?.

We all met at Don and Wendy's north of Odessa, at 5:00 after work. We wasted no time in transferring the luggage to the two four-wheel drive vehicles belonging to Frank and Paul. Malcolm, Linda and I went in Paul's vehicle and the rest were with Frank, except for Lucy and Brian who would be meeting us at the airport tomorrow morning.

We stopped at Harvey's in Port Hope for supper. Port Hope was experiencing a blackout at the time but Harvey's was unaffected. Don and Linda borrowed the server's microphone and sang karaoke songs. The staff were not amused.


DRIVING TO THE DOMINICAN REPUBLIC	THE LAST CDN SUPPER	DON, JUST BEFORE GRABBING THE MICROPHONE

We arrived at Toronto's Ramada Inn around 9:30 and checked in to two rooms. This was a pretty good deal. It worked out to $30.00 each which included parking for two weeks and a free shuttle to and from the airport. We headed down to the hot tub/pool and relaxed for an hour or so. Later, the men folk went to the bar and then retired to our adjoining rooms.

"What did you have and how many?" said Linda with a scowl as I ran around in green pajamas with a shower cap on my head.

We got our 3:30 am wake-up call and caught our free shuttle to the airport. Brian and Lucy arrived and customs went fairly smoothly?except Linda's leg brace set off the metal detector. I thought this would make an excellent documentary photo but unfortunately, the security guard had other ideas and told me to "put the camera away". I was also asked if I had any sharp objects, nail clippers or razor blades in my carry on luggage. I had all of the above but I thought it best to say ?no?. It worked! I was now free to take over the plane??Get back everyone! I have nail clippers and I?m not afraid to use them!?


"IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO BACK OUT", THINKS LUCY	DON PRAYS FOR AN UNEVENTFUL FLIGHT. PAUL ADMIRES HIS NEWLY MADE UP SUNTAN LOTION SPREADING BUSINESS CARDS	PAT PREPARES HER WILL WHILE WENDY SHOWS LUCY PICTURES OF HER KIDS, DUSTY, BEKKI & CC

The topic of religion came up. Linda was expounding on why most people go to church and offered the suggestions that it was due to several factors. The sermon went on for several minutes. I caught the tail end.

"?and people have a need to congregate with other like-minded people of the same faith? she lectured. ?

I did not have a particularly religious upbringing although I do recall going to Sunday school several times and learning about St. Bartholomew Cubbins and his hats of many colours. Regardless, I didn?t feel I could add much input but when Linda paused and her eyes bored into mine, I felt she wanted some contribution.

?Yes, you?re right? I said chipping in, ?but I also think that it?s mostly a social event and of course a lot of people just go for the pies.?

?You fool! That?s something they do outside the church to raise money. They don?t serve PIE at church?, she said spitting the word "pie" at me.

?Man, you?ve really led a sheltered life. I suppose you think the masses sit in church waiting for the priest to take your order and then pass you a pie plate. Sometimes you really amaze me,? said Linda her voice going up a few more octaves in irritation.

I considered it best to steer the conversation to something less controversial. I thought I would be safe by choosing to speak on one of my past travels but apparently, I don?t speak properly?with my hands. During my fascinating diatribe on my trip to Peru, Linda interrupted me in mid-sentence saying, ?What does your horn-honking gesture have to do with climbing a mountain??

?I didn?t do that?, I said making my point by pretending to squeeze grapefruits with my hands.

?Here, let me remind you?, said Linda while beating her arms like a chicken trying to take flight.

The movie seemed to be the safer course of action so while Linda slept, I watched "Sweet Home Alabama". Near the end of our 4 hour flight, we both peered out the window to see the Dominican coastline.

?I was just reading about our resort in the information sheet. Look at this! It says they have the most beautiful beach in the world? I said innocently enough not realizing this would boil Linda?s blood.

?You idiot? she responded. ?Of course it says that. You read that line in every travel brochure ever printed. You?re so gullible.? However, later on in the trip, she did apologize saying that in this case, the booklet was correct.

The passengers were saved from more of our titillating conversations as we finally touched down in Punta Cana. The thatched roof airport was quite unique. We breezed through customs and caught our bus to the Bavaro Beach Resort.


LINDA ENSURES OUR LUGGAGE GETS ON THE RIGHT BUS	VIEW FROM OUR COMPLEX	DEJA VIEW

We were supposed to get a block of rooms but of course it did not quite work that way. This may be a little confusing?Lucy had a single room but pretended to share it with Brian to save the $500 single supplement. So, we had three rooms side by side in the Garden wing. Linda and I were sandwiched in the middle between Lucy, Don and Wendy?rooms 6327 to 6329. Paul, Malcolm and Brian shared a room across from us and a floor below. I never did find out where Pat and Frank stayed. Our swipe card room key along with Don and Wendy's, did not work. Don and I plodded off to the reception and they sent someone up with an electronic gizmo to reprogram it. He kept saying "this room?" to every room we passed. We could have said yes to any room, gone in and stolen everything. This was not particularly comforting. The room safe was excellent. You could choose your own 4 digit combination and it seemed quite secure. We combined my age and Linda?s for our code (1873). Our hair dryer didn't work but we had brought our own anyway. Electrical adapters were not necessary. The cable tv was pretty good although the unit tended to crackle off and on. We thought it best to leave it off whenever we left. The bar fridge was stocked daily with soft drinks and water. Towels and washcloths were intermittent but there was usually a maid?s cart nearby. The rooms were made fresh daily.


THE OLD SALT HEADS OUT TO SEA	THE SALT WATER MADE LINDA QUITE BUOYANT	LINDA STEPS ON A CRAB	TAXI!!

?How do you say 'do you have any peanuts'?? he asked the resident Spanish expert.

Fearing it might lose something in the translation, I didn?t stick around to see the bartenders reaction when Brian told him to please give him a kiss..

Linda and I did a lap around the large circular pool then we all met at the Beach Buffet for supper. I found all the meals excellent. There was plenty of food and lots of variety including everything from squid to lasagna. The nightlife did not appeal to us tonight, as it had been a long day.


THE BAVARO BEACH BUFFET	A TANTALIZING DISPLAY...AND THE FOOD WAS EXCELLENT AS WELL	LUCY STOCKS UP FOR THE WINTER

Back at our room I went out on the balcony and jumped the wall to Don and Wendy?s terrace. I knocked on their window and when they looked out I was sitting at their table with my feet up and sipping a drink. They wouldn?t even invite me in. Lucy was even ruder and shut the curtain on me.

I guess I was stuck with Linda and our nightly ritual. You see, some people have pet names for each other. Linda and I quickly became bored with that so we took it a step further. Our pet name, was whatever popped into our minds. This is not always a good thing.

I awoke to the comforting sound of Linda coughing?as she had been doing all night.

We had forgotten to change the time on the alarm clock so we missed our free breakfast. We raced down to the lobby to catch our little train over to the Palace complex for our meeting with the travel agent.

The train is on wheels rather than tracks and one goes by every 10 minutes or so. The seminar was helpful but lengthy - about an hour. I felt a printed set of instructions, maps and tips would have been more beneficial.


WAITING FOR THE TRAIN	MEANWHILE, LUCY HAD A PINA COLADA THIS BIG	STILL WAITING FOR THE TRAIN


DON STABS WENDY WITH HIS PINKY	"DEE TRAIN BOSS, DEE TRAIN"	"HAVE YOU SEEN MY SUNGLASSES?"

Linda and I walked back along the beach and had lunch at the buffet. We ran into Lucy and the three of us walked about a mile along our curved beach to the right. It was a pleasant walk.


LINDA, LUCY & I WALKED AS FAR AS YOU CAN SEE	LINDA'S BACK	LINDA AND HER WALLET FULL OF MONEY

The rest of the day we spent tanning. There is no shortage of tanning chairs along the beach. Piňa coladas and water seemed to be our favourite drinks. The activity manager came over and bugged Don and I until we agreed to enter the ping pong tournament. Don wrote his name down as Dijon which is what I have accidentally (my story and I?m sticking to it) called him in the past.

Time didn't matter anyway. I lost in the tournament 12/15. Don never got to play?although later it was announced that the winner was "Dijon from Ontario."

Linda and I went for a siesta then we met everyone for supper at the Steak House Restaurant. It was excellent and by far my favourite. I had steak and lobster. Both Lucy and Pat had the same but couldn't finish theirs. Luckily I was there to help out.


WENDY MAKES A QUICK DASH TO THE BATHROOM	FATHER PODHY PREPARES TO SAY GRACE	"HEY! HOW DID PAUL GET PICTURES OF ME IN THE SHOWER"

We returned to our room. Linda did her nightly ritual of plasticising her bed and pillow as she had picked up the scent of a mold spore when we first arrived. Her allergy list (which includes air, water and myself) is unending.

We made it in time for the buffet breakfast. I had scrambled eggs, mangos and papayas etc. and a scad of other things. My favourite was pointing to various strange fruits, which the chef would then pop into a blender to make you a personal smoothie. Linda and I tanned for a while then we snorkeled along the beach for forty minutes or so. We saw a small swordfish, several blow fish, a large starfish and one sea snake. Linda was pinched by a crab that she stepped on. We tanned some more then it was siesta time back at the room. Later we went to the gym and worked out for an hour. The gym was okay but Linda was not pleased as they were lacking in cardio machines.


MR. RIPPLE (AS LINDA CALLS ME)	THE STAIR MASTER	LINDA DOES NOT ALWAYS APPRECIATE BEING TICKLED, AS I FOUND OUT

Later, the two of us went on a hike to find the fabled bike rental shop. After an hour of following the map and asking directions we discovered it no longer existed. We all met at the Italian Restaurant for supper, which was also quite good.


ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER RESTAURANT	JIM CAREY LIVES!!	ANOTHER USE FOR BREAD STICKS

From there all of us took the shuttle over to the Casino Complex for the "Tropicalissimo" Los Vegas type show. We were told if there was one show we were going to see, then this was the one. It was basically scantily clad females kicking their feet in the air?much like the same show Linda puts on for me every night. Fifteen minutes into the production, Lucy, Linda and I decided we?d had our fill. We bowed out and took a little tour of the Casino. I was going to splurge and play a quarter but they told me the minimum was $10 U.S. Probably a communication problem but I was too tired to argue. Took the train back to our rooms.


THE GOURMET GROUP	MALCOLM IN THE MIDDLE	WENDY PLANS HER THESIS


BRIAN & DON STUDYING FOR THEIR FINALS AT THE WORKMAN SCHOOL OF INAPPROPRIATE HAND GESTURES	ANOTHER EXCELLENT GROUP MEAL. LINDA, CALM AND QUIET AS ALWAYS	MY NAME IS DON. I'LL BE YOUR WAITER


THE TROPICALISIMO SHOW	LINDA QUIETLY KEEPS TO HERSELF WHILE DIJON YELLS "YAAAAAKKK, YAAAAAKKK!!"	MALCOMB AT HIS BEST


THE MARKET	LINDA & I TOOK A WRONG TURN SOMEWHERE	MY CORONA


WEIGHT FOR ME!	THE BAVARO RUNNERS	LINDA PULLS HER OWN WEIGHT