CAYO LARGO				2005 Part II
THE CASTRO TRIPLETS... KAREN                                      FIDEL                                   DAVE

Tuesday February 15, 2005

I woke up the wife around 8:00.  We showered then went to the breakfast buffet then stopped in at the beach towel hut.  We were originally given a card, which we turned in for beach towels.  Theoretically, we could change our towels as often as we liked and at the end of the week were supposed to exchange the towels for our cards that in turn were handed back to Jesus.  If we lost the cards or towels a $50 fine was levied.  Anyway, the beach towel hut was closed again so we gave up and trotted to the beach with our three-day old towels.  We confiscated two lounge chairs and had a three-hour tanning session interrupted by the occasional swim.  The waves were quite boisterous and a little on the cold side until you actually got in.  I had a good time body surfing.   

ALTHOUGH KAREN SEEMED A TRIFLE NERVOUS IN THE WATER, I ASSURED HER SHE WAS JUST BEING SILLY

Just before noon we went back to our room for a shower and then we relaxed just long enough to miss lunch. 

The old woman and I retired to our rockers.  I drew Karen a nice bubble bath complete with candles as a late Valentine?s Day treat.   On reflection, I suppose she would have preferred the real thing to my cartoon rendition. 

Later we went for our a la carte restaurant booking.  It was pretty good except they had no butter for the buns.  Apparently there would be butter a plenty at 4:00 tomorrow.  Frankly, I think they forgot to pay their butter bill.  When we returned to our room we could hear some great dance music from the disco again.  Once more, we were too tired to go but vowed to show up tomorrow night. 

Wednesday February 16, 2005

Checked out the sunrise then went to the beach house.  It was actually open.  We requested new towels and got the usual frustrating answer, ?There are none at the moment ? come back at 4:00?.  ?I?ll see it when I believe it?, thought I using an amazingly deep and original psychological phrase.  We tried a new tactic and requested snorkeling equipment since we planned to snorkel at Playa Sirena today.  I was given a set of flippers, which fit perfectly.  Karen?s set was much too large.  I explained and was told that they only had one size.  I heard Karen begin to growl.  I was given a mask and snorkel.

?Ella necesita una tambien?, I said in Spanish telling him that Karen wanted a set as well.

?Solo tenemos uno?, he replied.

I translated for Karen, ?He says they only have one mask?.  I grabbed Karen as she lunged for his throat.  We left all the equipment and I steered Karen away before her growling got out of hand.  The shuttle car, disguised as a small train picked us up and dropped us at Playa Sirena ? a beautiful and sheltered beach with virtually no waves.  We tanned there for an hour then decided to walk to The Pelicano resort along the beach.  I told Karen it wasn?t too far.  I think it is less than 8 km although Karen says it seemed like 100 km.  It was virtually deserted.  We swam a few times to cool off and after a mere 3 hours we arrived at the Sol Pelicano. 

I had saved my blue wristband from when I stayed at this resort last year.  It was too tight to put back on my wrist so Karen put it on hers.  Theoretically, we were now guests of this hotel, and so were allowed a free ride in one of their Hobby Cat sailboats.  We helped Captain Jack push the craft into the surf and off we went.  It was excellent.  We sailed over the rolling breakers and came close to flipping once.  It was a great and thrilling ride and we thoroughly enjoyed it.  Jack invited us to a lobster dinner he was going to make on the beach tomorrow.  We thought we were special until he mentioned the $10 U.S. fee.  Karen was all for it but I didn?t really want to commit myself, not to mention trusting my money to Jack of the sand dunes.  As new guests of the Sol Pelicano, I suggested Karen treat me to lunch at their buffet.  It was just as I remembered it.  We had the chicken and it was excellent!  The food was definitely better than at the Barcelo Cayo Largo.  We went back up to the buffet several times.  After a few pina coladas I suggested walking back to our resort. 

?Are you kidding?!  My calves are still on fire!? yelled Karen. 

Reluctantly, I hailed a taxi ($2.50 pesos or U.S. dollars) and we were driven back to our resort. 

Karen picked us up another gallon of wine and we retired to our balcony with our chocolates and books.  It?s almost like we?ve settled into a routine.  Went to the buffet restaurant for dinner.  The butter shipment was in ? yippee!!  After supper we watched one of the shows that the staff put on.  They put a lot of effort into them but they are still very amateurish.  Regardless they are entertaining if you see them once.  It was a struggle but we actually stayed up till 11:30 for the opening of the disco.  Tonight?s music was terrible.  They only played Rap music, which we found difficult to dance to.  After 3 dances, even Karen didn?t want to break dance anymore. 

?Whassup, Bro?, I asked while still in my rapper mode splaying my hands and fingers to full advantage.

?Let?s go for a walk on the beach.  Maybe when we get back, they?ll have changed the music,? suggested Karen. 

It was a perfect night for a deserted beach walk.  The stars were out and the surf was rolling in.  Karen?s limp was barely noticeable.  Half an hour later, we returned to the disco.  It was closed.  Oh well?back to the balcony for us. 

Thursday February 17, 2005

We hadn?t been frustrated for a while so we tried the beach house this morning to see if we could pick up some snorkeling equipment and new towels.  No to both.  Instead we decided to rent a 4-wheel drive standard jeep.  There was no one there.  We had breakfast and were more successful later.  We drove to all the resorts and checked out all their gift shops again and included the one at the marina.  We bought a few trinkets to barter with the natives back home.  We took the sand trail past our resort for about 3 miles and checked out a secluded beach.  We tried to return our jeep but again, no one was there.  We enlisted Jesus at the lobby to witness our time of return since our rental was by the hour.  After lunch I returned to the jeep rental.  They accepted that we had only been gone 3 hours and charged us $33 pesos.  

Karen went to the lobby to change some money.  They had none and asked us to come back at 4:00.  Karen?s growl was noticeably louder on the way to beach.  We spent the day relaxing and playing in the breakers along with the occasional pina colada and beach walking.  Eventually we took a break for supper then we met John and Debbie at the entertainment centre for the big cigar deal.  Karen had arranged for them to get her some cigars from their day trip to Havana.  The downside was that we had to sit through another staff cabaret show.  It was enough to drive someone to drink?speaking of which, I picked us up another gallon of wine and we broke out some more chocolates back on our balcony.  We retired early tonight.  Karen accused me of getting sand on her side of the bed.  That was a silly accusation.  As if I was going to put sand on my side of the bed. 

Friday February 18, 2005

Karen had a restless night being tormented by sand fleas.  I never felt a thing?perhaps it?s her imagination.  Got up eventually and went for a semi-early lunch at the outdoor restaurant.  After 15 minutes of talking we realized that no one had come to serve us.  I spotted the headwaiter, flagged him down and ordered our meal.  He was extremely put out that I didn?t recognize his position and yelled to one of his underlings to help us out.  My plan worked.  We both had the chicken curry pizza, which was very good ? definitely the best meal at the resort, although I did have some good roast beef and turkey with gravy the night before. 

Karen challenged me to a game of ping-pong.  She neglected to tell me that she was the Perth High School champion during her student years.  I had to buy her drinks the rest of the afternoon since I lost the bet.  Of course I?m still waiting to collect on my free dinner after having won the lowest cholesterol contest we had before the trip.  Being a very healthy eater, I suppose I did take unfair advantage of her.  Stay tuned to find out who wins the upcoming lowest heart rate and blood pressure contest. 

We hit the beach again and picked up a few beers from the on-site beach bar.  The bartender was as friendly as ever.  We never heard him speak the whole time we were there.  He just scowled and poured drinks.  Perhaps he was mute. 

Tonight we drank our usual gallon of wine and read, but in between we packed our bags in preparation for tomorrow?s flight back to the real world.  Karen nearly cried, knowing it was the last night she would spend with her beloved sand fleas.  She now thought of them as pets and had named three of her favourites. 

?Good night Karen? I said.

?Good night Dave, Sandy, Germaine and Mr. Spock? replied Karen sleepily.

Saturday February 19, 2005

I awoke refreshed at 6:30.   Karen had been up most of the night with her pets trying to teach them new tricks.  Germaine was best ? he could do a perfect triple axle.  

What a surprise ? the beach house was actually open and they had fresh towels.  Of course we no longer needed them as we were leaving.  We had our last buffet breakfast then checked out with Jesus.  I told him we would be back at 4:00 sharp. 

The airport shuttle picked us up at nine and dropped us at the airport.  Since our flight didn?t depart until noon, we sat around at the bar with our friends John, Debbie, Jeff and Irene.  At the airport there is a lady at a desk outside the washrooms that will sell you toilet paper?one square at a time.  Karen was prepared and had brought a roll of toilet paper from the hotel.  She made a lot of money from the five of us. 

Going through the x-ray, a mass of yelling Cuban customs officers suddenly swarmed around Karen.  Apparently they had discovered her mortal combat weapon ? the wine corkscrew.  I had visions of Karen brandishing her weapon and yelling, ?Get back?I?m not afraid to use this.  Up against the wall or I?ll uncork that Fat Bastard @!? (@ Fat Bastard is Karen?s favourite wine).  The lethal corkscrew was confiscated, never to be seen again.  I?m sure the Cuban head of customs is using it presently.  Karen was photographed and documented as an undesirable.  Scene Missing: 

Funnily enough, Karen got the window seat again.  Our flight back had no movie or provision for one, but it was uneventful which is always a bonus.  Toronto customs was no problem.  The telephone number we had for our free shuttle was out of order.  We took a $16 taxi about a mile to the Holiday Inn.  The deskman graciously reimbursed our money.  He was definitely not a distant relative of Cayo Largo Jesus. 

I drove us back to Kingston narrowly missing a snowstorm.  To celebrate our return, we ate at the Jade Garden, which was excellent - after we talked the owner into turning up the thermostat from 66 to 72.  Our vacation was excellent but certainly not from any help from the Barcelo chain.  There was a world of difference between the Sol Pelicano and The Barcelo Cayo Largo.  By the rating system, both were supposedly 3.5 stars.  I believe the Pelicano should be boosted up one star and the Barcelo down one.  I stayed at an inferior resort but that was easily made up for, by being with a ten star companion.

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