TIKAL GUATEMALA

PROLOGUE:

Several days earlier, my former high school geography teacher, Ed Shaw, had asked if I knew of anyone that would like to share driving to Mexico in exchange for all expenses paid including a free airline ticket back. I don’t think he had actually finished the sentence before I had agreed.

Tuesday August 21, 1979

I was up at 6:30 a.m. packed and ready to leave. Ed showed up 2 hours late and we stored some of his things in our barn. I helped him pack then we finally left at 3:50 p.m. I drove us 170 miles and somewhere past Toronto we stopped for cookies. A transport passed us throwing up a rock which cracked our front van window. We got his licence so the insurance should cover it. Ed drove the next 103 miles then I drove 110 miles to Windsor. Then he drove a further 80 miles to a rest stop where we spent the night. The van is pretty good. It has cruise control which is a nice feature. I spent a total of \\$0.00.

Wednesday August 22, 1979

Got up early and stopped somewhere for a hot chocolate (me) and coffee. I finally got a chance to record my traveller’s cheque numbers. I drove 380 miles and Ed drove 260. I have been keeping the cruise control 12 miles over the limit. We picked up two mountain men who were hitchhiking. They were both named Johnnie. We stayed the night at a campground. I slept in the front in my mummy bag and the two Johnnies slept on either side of Ed in the back. My days total was \\$0.00.

Thursday August 23, 1979

While the two Johnnies slumbered, Ed drove 40 miles then I drove 250 miles to Dallas, Texas where we got rid of the mountain men. One of them reminded me of the weird guy in the movie "The Hills Have Eyes." He even laughed like him. We stopped somewhere and Ed bought some typewriters and cassette decks for his friends. That should make the border crossing interesting. Ed drove 180 miles then I drove 250 to the outskirts of Laredo where Ed bought \\$5.00 worth of groceries. My plan at this point was if I ever got home, to become a forest ranger (and here I am 21 years later the most opposite of a forest ranger that I could be). We slept at a rest stop in the desert. It’s now starting to get hot and I am beginning to regret bringing my mummy sleeping bag rated to 20 below zero. I slept with the window open, hoping that no one would snatch me out of the front seat. Woke up in the middle of the night to hear a coyote howling and saw a trucker going through a garbage pail…or vice versa. Today’s expenses totalled \\$0.00.

Friday August 24, 1979

Woke up and had a hot chocolate at some little restaurant called "The Wooden Nickle". At the border, the official asked Ed what he had under the seat. Ed told him "clothes". When he checked it was full of typewriters, cassette decks and books. I don’t know how we got through.

We picked up a family that were waiting for a bus and dropped them in Hidalgo. I changed \\$250 Cdn to $5662.50 Pesos. That killed me as it was just \\$2000 pesos short of the latest big robbery that was on the news. I spent my first money since leaving home – 50 cents on stamps to mail my friend Leif, some letters.

Somewhere in the desert, I spied a dust trail. As we got closer a large wheel crossed the road nearly hitting the van. It was travelling about 30 m.p.h. at the time. I checked the map – there were no other roads nearby. We finally determined it must have fallen off an airplane…unless some peons had a tire catapult out in the desert.

Ed bought us some takeout chicken and drinks. Since we were now in a lawless land, I stuck the cruise control on infinity and left it there for the next 250 miles. Ed drove about an equal distance and we stopped for the night at San Luis Potosi Trailer Park. While Ed was inside paying, a busload of Mexican girl beauty contestants dropped in. I was a good judge and gave them all the 10’s they deserved. I splurged and spent \\$0.50 today.

Saturday August 25, 1979

At 7:00 a.m. Ed drove me to the bus station in San Luis Potosi. Originally he was going to drive me to Guadalajara but he decided on an alternate route. I paid 95 Pesos for the bus (\\$4.50 U.S.). I had a grape popsicle (15 cents U.S.) for breakfast as I didn’t want to spend all my money. It was a pretty squished ride on this second class bus. I managed to read ? of my new book "King’s Point". Sometime in the afternoon I arrived in Guadalajara. I took a taxi to my friend’s house, Esteban Vigil…except apparently I did not have enough of an address so I ended up sharing a phone booth with two girls until I found the right address. Took another taxi there. It cost me 50 pesos in taxis (\\$2.50 U.S.) and .60 centavos or .03 cents U.S. for the telephone. Esteban was away for the weekend but he left instructions for his maid, Guille to take care of me. She asked if I would like supper. Somehow I translated that I was not at all hungry (having only had a grape popsicle today). Once I sorted that out she brought me two sandwiches and a coke in a special frozen glass. I read a bit and watched some tv. "Secret Squirrel, The Pink Panther, and The Three Stooges" all in Spanish of course. I was given the family room for a bedroom. Today I spent \\$7.18.

Sunday August 26, 1979

A thousand birds woke me up. I had a freezing cold shower as there was no hot water. Quille brought me a breakfast of BEANS and MILK. There is nothing I despise more than beans and milk. I managed to almost eat the beans but I had to toss the milk down the drain when she wasn’t looking.

I phoned all over to try and get a taxi to take me downtown. The only one I could get wanted to charge me 1000 pesos. I gave up and walked to the highway and watched a 200 person ten speed bike race, then hailed a taxi which took me downtown for 30 pesos (\\$1.50 U.S.). I shopped and bargained all day. Once I beat the vendors down to their lowest price I would decide against buying and move on…I think they hated me and blacklisted me amongst the other vendors. I finally did buy three articles; a wallet for my mother 70 p \\$3.50 U.S.), a necklace for my sister 70 p, a leather car seat for Leif – 270 p (He made the mistake of giving me money to get him something interesting – he killed me later). I even bought myself a drink for 3 pesos. Two American girls asked me to do some translating for them. I got ripped off on the way home by a taxi charge of 70 p. I also bought some Lomotil for 36 p just in case but never needed it and 13.50 pesos on chocolate bars.

I went for a three mile night walk and took two pictures. Later I watched some more tv., "CHIPS" and "The Waltons". They gave John Boy a deep voice which was amusing. Then I watched a French movie with Spanish subtitles. I got nothing out of it. Quille made me pork and BEANS for supper.

Esteban returned late and showed me his ham radio and his latest machine gun. He told me several weeks ago he had let it ricochet off his marble floors to scare of a burglar. Apparently it worked quite well. I should mention he is the Canadian Consulate in Guadalajara. I spent \\$27.45 today.

Monday August 27, 1979

Got up early. Esteban gave me the keys to his Rabbit and told me to meet him at the Canadian Consulate after breakfast. Breakfast was BEANS and eggs. I’m so sick of bloody beans!

Driving a strange standard car in Guadalajara was one of the most nerve-wracking experiences of my life…well at least my life this week. I managed to get lost despite Esteban’s directions. I finally found my way and met his nice secretaries. He typed me up a special letter from the Canadian Consulate (him) in case I got myself into any trouble…Who, me? I walked a couple of blocks and paid for a plane ticket to Guatemala (4600 pesos) and then I drove to the bus station for a ticket to Mexico City (192 pesos) plus parking (10 pesos). A bag of chips was 5 pesos. If you didn’t know me, you’d almost think I was money conscious.

I didn’t understand the road rules – if there were any. A line of cars kept honking at me and then a policeman whistled at me (maybe he liked my snazzy hairdo). Everyone was blocking me in so I finally did a u-turn and zoomed past all my tormentors. I found my way back to the Consul and followed Esteban home. We tried to talk to his friends in Guatemala on the ham radio but didn’t have any luck. Supper was pork, rice, soup and…no BEANS!! Steve had to go out. I packed and had another cold shower and wrote some letters. Esteban returned and loaned me a small suitcase then drove me to the bus station. Finally found the right bus and said goodbye to Esteban.

I was lucky enough to get a seat with Joe Broadshoulders, a peon rancher. He took up all of his seat and most of mine. I slept off and on (mostly off) from 9-6 in the morning. It was a pretty terrible ride. Luckily it was a first class bus. A big spending day at \\$244.95.

Tuesday August 28, 1979

I caught a taxi to the airport (65p). Then I bought a tourist card for 125p and changed \\$100 U.S. to 2250p for later use. I hoped I was in the right line-up and it turned out I was. Customs searched my luggage and looked somewhat puzzled at my Swiss army knife but they let it go. Everything was rushed and strained. I sat with a Spanish couple. They couldn’t read or write so I helped them out with their custom forms. My Spanish was not the greatest so I had some trouble…especially in trying to ask her when they were born. Since I couldn't think of the word for "born", you would have to imagine the hand gestures I had to use. The outcome was all three of us being embarrassed and red in the face. They got even with me, however, as I had no idea how long the flight was to Guatemala. They told me 24 hours. I settled back for a long night. It was, in fact, only an hour.

Esteban’s cousin, Mrs. Gonzales, met me at the airport in Guatemala and took me to her apartment. She got me a reservation at a nice hotel for \\$29 U.S. Since it was so nice out she suggested I walk ? of a mile to the museum. I did, and took some pictures inside of airplane-like artifacts and stellas etc. The cost was \\$1 U.S. to get in…and $1.00 to take pictures. I also purchased a book on Tikal for \\$6 and .25 for a museum guide. I just can’t seem to stop spending money. When I left, I discovered my first Guatemalan lesson…always bring a raincoat. I got thoroughly drenched – but it was worth it as I found a nail clipper set on the road (which I still have). I got changed and had lunch with Mr. & Mrs. Gonzales and their three daughters which Esteban had told me were my age. They were slightly younger at 4, 12 and 14…but maybe Esteban meant that mentally. At 4:00 Mr. G. drove me downtown to my hotel. On the way pulled up at a red light beside a jeep full of militia. One of the soldiers in the back purposely pointed his M-1 at my head. I did not display the typical reaction. I started laughing.

ERICH VON DANIIKEN WOULD LIKE THIS ARTIFACT	AN UNMARKED MUSEUM OFFERING	THE POPUL-VUH MUSEUM

At my hotel I made reservations to fly to Tikal at 6:30 tomorrow morning. The flight was \\$110 U.S. or Quetzals. I even tipped the bellboy \\$1 but that was pointless as no one who knows me would believe it. I took some pictures of the city from my room. I went out for supper (\\$4.25) and had a hamburger, chicken sandwich, double order of fries and a coke – hey, I’m a growing boy! Back at the hotel I spied a lecture on Mayan ruins. It was my lucky night. I got there early and helped the lecturer set up the chairs and talked to him for 20 minutes. He agreed to be my guide on a trip I was planning for next year to see every ruin there is (there are only 10,000 or so). I saw the show for \\$2 and got ripped off with buying a coke for \\$1. Then I went to my room and retired and cried having spent \\$157.00

VIEW FROM MY ROOM

Wednesday, August 29, 1979

I got my 5:00 a.m. wake up call as I requested. I had my cold shower as there was no hot water (why am I not surprised). I was just putting on my shoes and looking forward to breakfast when the desk called me to say that the airport bus was waiting for me (an hour early). The driver drove like a madman and then I had to wait an hour at the airport. I boarded a jungle-type airplane (I have no idea what that means but that’s what my notes say). All I could see in any direction was the El Peten jungle. We flew into the Tikal airstrip. "AirSTRIP" was a very good description – it was very small. I was "Tikalled" pink to have landed in one piece.

I walked to the office and to discover something was wrong with my ticket. By the time it was straightened out, the tour bus to the ruins had left. It was a mile walk to the ruins and very, very, very, hot (a "triple very" on the very hot scale). I actually did catch up to the bus at one time and got on for 100 feet but got off when the driver didn’t stop for the first ruin. I ran back and began my exploration. I entered a tunnel and made it almost to the end before my penlight lit up a bat which chased me out. I was up and down a scad of pyramids much higher and steeper than those in Yucatan. I even had to use the chains they provided in some cases. I entered another tomb and teased a bat with my light but couldn’t entice him to chase me. I met two interesting Japanese guys today…Tsi and Grotto. We shared a photographic interest and had a lot of fun trying to communicate. Several months later they ended up writing and sending me some pictures of the trip. It was then I learned their real names which were, Tsuji and Kuroda. Later I watched my bus jounce down the road back to the "Jungle Lodge." I was the only one left and it was getting dark so I went for a walk in the jungle trails and then back to the hotel. I walked pretty well steady from 9-4 today. Earlier I had paid for a shared room which is cheaper – my hut and meals for today and tomorrow are \\$20 U.S. or Quetzals. Back at my room the only sign of my roomate was a backpack. I bought a coke for .35 and when I got back I met Jean Marc from Belgium, France. He introduced me to his friends from Holland – Christine, Antoinette, Claudia…and Steve Pothead from California. Esteban had warned me not to hang around druggies like Steve saying that even his consulate letter wouldn’t save me. So what was I doing hanging around Steve Pothead in the El Peten jungle? At 11:00 the six of us paired off to look for jaguars on the airfield (that’s my story and I’m sticking to it). I went with Claudia who was very nice. I also took two cokes with me (\\$1.00) as it was so hot. I heard a few jaguars coughing…but it could have been heavy smoking chicleros. We had supper together later and sat outside our huts talking. Everyone left at 4:00 a.m. I’m supposed to leave tomorrow but somehow I wangled an extra day…I’m not sure how. I retired to my hut for the evening. I spent \\$21.35 today.

TEMPLE 1	TEMPLE OF THE JAGUAR	TEMPLE V

LICHEN CLEANERS ON TEMPLE IV	JUNGLE RAIN FROM MY ROOM	STELLA AND ALTAR

OVERGROWN PYRAMID	GUARD ON TEMPLE IV	ALTAR ENCASED BY ROOT

HANS RESTING ON TEMPLE IV	STELLA 16	TSUJI & KURODA ON TEMPLE III

LINTEL IN COURT 2	STELLA 22 IN COMPLEX Q	CORBELLED ARCH OF STELLA 22

Thursday August 30, 1979

Got up at 6:00 a.m. and had a fried banana breakfast with Hanz Peter Manser from Switzerland. I realized his English was a little rusty when he ordered "Frightened bananas". Since my roommate from last night left, I talked Hanz into moving in with me to save some money. We broke each other up comparing our Swiss army knives. We walked a mile to the ruins and climbed the largest and most overgrown one. After that, Hanz refused to climb anymore but would wait at the bottom for me. I ran into my Japanese friends from yesterday. We will be taking the same flight back. They told me to "beware of bees". When I pointed out their pun, we all had a good laugh. Hanz and I walked about 10 miles today and saw anteaters, monkeys and toucans. We walked back to the lodge and I visited the museum while "wandering Hanz" had a snooze. Later, I talked Hanz and Ellen from Montana into getting permission to return at night. I led us to the directors office and was able to get signed permission from 5-7 for the three of us and using my consulate letter I got a further one for myself only from 8-10 (but I ran out of film and did not use it). The Park Commissioner stressed that if we were not out of the park by 7:00, the guards would beat us and shoot us…and not necessarily in that order. He was not kidding when he said it.

COMPLEX Q TEMPLE	TEMPLE I LINTEL	COMPLEX Q TEMPLE

The three of us returned to the ruins where the guards held us up and carefully scrutinized our papers. We went straight to the main plaza and climbed to the top. I took a roll of sunset pictures and when it got dark Ellen left. Hanz and I stayed on meditating at the top while watching monkeys, turkeys, toucans and iguanas below. There was a breeze and everything was perfect until we realized it was 7:30 and guards were shining their flashlights up at us. I yelled down that we would be along shortly and finished off my roll of film. The guards had other ideas and projected that to us by cocking their rifles and aiming at us. We hurriedly shimmied down the ruins and showed our papers. They were not amused.

TEMPLE I OVERVIEW	SUNSET FROM TEMPLE I	HANS & ELLEN IN TEMPLE I

We walked back to the lodge in the pitch black – very hard to see. I sampled some Guatemalan dishes (and that’s why they call me "Pottery Teeth"). Our supper mates were Benjamin from Haiti, his wife from Austria and Jordan from California. It’s quite a little cultural centre here. After supper Ellen dropped in at my room for a long chat. I went for a cold shower. Apparently hot water has not come to these parts. Everyone walks around in their underwear…perhaps that explains the footprints on mine.

Before bed, Hanz shared his last lemon with me…he’s a true friend. I polished off a Spur Cola and retired to Hut #3 for the evening. Today I spent a total of \\$3.25.

VENDORS VYING FOR CUSTOMERS	SMALL TEMPLE	NORTHERN ACROPOLIS

Friday August 31, 1979

Hanz and I got up at 6:00 and popped in to Ellen’s room to wake her up. The three of us walked a mile to the ruins. No time for breakfast. We were too quick for Ellen and she finally left us. Hanz and I climbed the main pyramid again then met up with Ellen at 8:30 and the three of us walked back to the lodge for breakfast. I raced out to the mud airstrip where it was announced that my plane would be two hours late. I sat around with Tzi, Grotto and a Mayan descendant who taught us the Mayan calendar and numerical system. It was an excellent course. Our plane never did come as it was decided the rains had made the runway too treacherous. Instead they sent a green (inside & out) WWII bomber. Inside were 40 foam seats with no padding anywhere. There were no rugs or seatbelts. There was no door to the pilots compartment. Everyone just wandered around. I was the only one who slept on the plane. Others were too busy praying in fear. At Guatemala, Tzi, Grotto and I were cheap enough to walk three miles to the next airport. It was really hot. We had fly soup at a restaurant. We got our tourist cards and sat around comparing money, drivers’ licenses, passports and exchanging addresses and becoming pretty good friends. I phoned Mrs. Gonzales to thank her and say goodbye. She was very sick. Probably picked up a strange bug from a northerner. When going through customs, the guard detected my Swiss army knife and confiscated it. The three of us haggled our way into sitting side by side on the plane. When we arrived at Mexico City, I said goodbye to my friends. I with them too long – start speak like them. I spent an hour trying and eventually succeeding in getting my knife back. I took a taxi to the bus staion and bought a ticket to Guadalajara. I sat outside from 10:00 pm till 11:40 freezing waiting for the bus which finally left at midnight. I couldn’t sleep as there were several kids that were busy pulling my hair and throwing up at strategic intervals. They kept asking a pilot in the next seat over for the "wings" on his coat. Apparently he did not want to give up his medal and kept saying over and over in his clipped British voice, "No!" Today was an \\$18.20 day.

TSUJI SENT THIS OF ME BEING TAUGHT THE MAYAN NUMERICAL SYSTEM

Saturday September 1, 1979

Woke up sometime and arrived in Guadalajara. I took a 40 peso taxi (\\$2 U.S.) to Esteban’s. The driver wanted 50 P but I haggled with him. I was invited for breakfast with Esteban, his wife Ellia and two kids, Ivan and Eric (my friend Leif Ivan Erickson would have been amused). Breakfast was BEANS! Aaaghhh! We watched Presidente Lopez Portillo give a speech on tv then the Vigil’s insisted I take their rabbit shopping…the car that is. I went on my excursion for three hours and could only find a tape by Los Freddy’s for Leif. I was hoping to find a pair of Clark’s Wallabees for myself as they are \\$60 at home, but I was unsuccessful. They are shoes, not miniature kangaroos, by the way. I splurged and spent 3 pesos for a drink then returned semi-home. Supper was avocado soup – excellent!…and a side order of pigs knuckles. After that, I needed a 4 hour siesta. Esteban and Ellia invited me to a movie but I was afraid I’d fall asleep so I stayed behind with Eric & Ivan. I watched them play tennis and football with a computer set that plugs into their tv. Later I read "Peanuts" books all night and it was at this point that I realized…I am Charlie Brown. Esteban & I watched the late Columbo movie which was in Spanish and very good. Went to bed at 2:00 a.m. I spent \\$7.15 today.

Sunday September 2, 1979

Got up and had a breakfast of runny eggs. Esteban invited me to Lake Chapala with his family and two of Ivan's friends. We took their camper and listened to a BeeGees tape all the way there. Went swimming at their very nice condominium where Esteban loaned me his flippers, mask and snorkel. I had a little trouble using the flippers as my sprained ankles had never completely healed from two years ago (skiing accident for one, and falling down the stairs and jumping a fence for the other). We had Chinese food and sat around with some of their friends. Apparently my mother had been slightly embellishing my life to Esteban, as he introduced me as an author chap from Canada, down here on assignment with the National Geograhic. I turned several shades of red.

On the way back we ran out of gas but fortunately there was a spare tank of gas in the back. I helped repair the camper roof as it was leaking (once again we had a comparison of Swiss army knives). I loaned Esteban \\$500 p as he forgot his wallet. We stopped in at Esteban's parent's house and I chatted with them about the weather…I think. Esteban returned my money as much as I tried to force him to keep it. Back at my semi-home we watched "Charley's Angels". Had hotdogs with tomato and mayonnaise for supper…I've had so many good things to eat. After supper we watched some tv. I fell asleep. When I woke up it was pitch black and everyone was gone. I wasn't able to spend any money today.

Monday September 3, 1979

Had some eggs and crude oil coffee with Ellia. The coffee is so black you can add as much milk as you want and it never lightens the colour. Esteban had one of his secretaries confirm my flight for tomorrow (I was supposed to have done that days ago). He also dropped me downtown at a saddle shop called La Remuda which was at Teresa Gomez Galvan, Avenida Chapultapek, N. 5558. Here I haggled and purchased a nice one for \\$2345 pesos or $116 U.S. which included a receipt for $90 to save me some money at customs. You might be asking why I wanted a saddle. From past experience, I knew I could get one for a good price and make a profit on it at home. Of course there is a price to pay - I had to wander around the city carrying a bulky saddle like some lost cowboy. I took a taxi to Esteban's office and deposited my horseware in his car trunk. Then I took a taxi back downtown (25 p) and did the remainder of my shopping duty. I got my father a keychain for 148 pesos \\$7.40. I searched all over for a Spanish disco tape for Leif (that's what he wanted) with no luck. Everyone told me there was no such thing. I ended up getting him a generic tape by "Los Freddy's". I'm sure he'll thank me. I bought myself two packs of cookies for 10 p and a .13 chocolate bar. My taxi home was 30 p. Supper was leftover hotdogs and entertainment was electronic games. I read a book and began packing. There appeared to be something wrong with my clothes that the maids had washed. I couldn't quite place my finger on it. Then it suddenly came to me. My clothes had all been ironed! I hadn't worn ironed clothes since I was a seven years old living in Mexico. Went to bed after watching a Spanish disco show…aaaarrghh!

Tuesday September 4, 1979

Got up at 5:00 a.m. and crept around doing my last minute packing. I had said goodbye to my very gracious hosts last night. I called a taxi and carried my large suitcase, camera bag and saddle slung over my left shoulder. The life of a cowpoke is a lonely one. The driver demanded \\$150 p. I gave him \\$110 and sauntered off, my spurs jangling in the morning dew. I caught my plane and got off in Houston. Unfortunately, I was not supposed to get off until Dallas. Some Mexicans in the same situation, felt sorry for me and took me under their wing. They took turns carrying my saddle for me while we sorted things out. I was worried as I've got to get home. I'm starting a marketting course at St. Lawrence College in the morning. We got another flight to Dallas and then to Toronto for 10:00 p.m. The customs officer at Toronto reprimanded me for the shape of my passport. I had folded it in half and kept it in my pocket for two weeks. I don't know passport etiquette…I'm just a poor cowboy. He got even with me by losing my saddle. I had to go through a lot of red tape to locate it and it took over an hour. Then a thorough search was conducted in case I had hidden some beef jerky in the saddle horn. Actually he was so thorough, I finally asked him if he'd like to buy it. He was not amused. I spent \\$11.95 today on taxi's (\\$5.50), flight tax ($5.00), stamps ($1.20) and a tunnel fee (.25 ?). My parents and friend Leif met me there to drive me home. Leif could hardly contain his enthusiasm for my gifts saying "Is it too late to get my money back?"

The subtotal cost of my trip was \\$676.18 Canadian. Later I sold my saddle for \\$285.00 bringing the grand total to \\$391.18. A pretty good deal if I do say so myself.